I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Everclear isn't food dammit
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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