I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
