so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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