I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
