I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
