thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
