I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
