i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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