proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize