her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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