it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
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