So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
