I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
my shit smells like andre
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
