i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Randomize
