I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
