Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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