i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
