the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
