Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
