oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize