I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I came so hard my ears popped.
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