i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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