Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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