tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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