We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
