oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
