Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
