If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize