i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
