I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
