So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize