"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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