last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
ugly people sure do ruin things
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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