Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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