i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
