My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Shame is for Republicans.
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