Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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