he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
