WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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