my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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