His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
