found the other keg... it's in the tree
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
