break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
