I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
