she looked like the bat from fern gully.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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