We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
