Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
