she kept yelling 'call me bella'
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
