i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
