Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
