do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
