I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
