she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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