I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
