This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
this will be a night to untag.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
