Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
