i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
DRUNK COOKIES
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