The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
