Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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