he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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