Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
