We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
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She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
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Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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