3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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