Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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