it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
