you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
