dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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