i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
