Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
There r osticjed everywhere
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
