your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Houston, we have a squirter
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
