Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
