if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
