is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
