Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
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its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
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You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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