He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
