stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i came on her dog
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
