i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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