My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
i think my cat just said my name.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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