something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
