There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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