so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
