My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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